bitter dream

i’ve always known life was very different for my grandparents’ generation: my grandfather was raised by his uncle and aunt instead of his own parents because as the head of the family, they were not able to have a son of their own; my grandparents’ marriage was arranged; and for as long as i could remember, my grandfather has had a concubine, an open secret that he refused to acknowledge until my grandmother passed away and ended their bitterly unhappy life together.

but it’s a little harder for me to grasp how different life was for my parents’ generation since they seem so much more immediate and connected to my life.

a friend of my dad, for instance, was also raised by his uncle and aunt. his father died in a plane crash when he was a child and his mother was forced to leave them because his uncle, as head of the old money family, was never able to come to terms with his mother’s peasant background.

when he was a teenager, he and his sister were kidnapped. the family was doing ok but did not have enough money to pay the ransom for both kids. forced to choose, they picked him because he is a boy. so as he watched, the kidnappers killed his sister.

to this date, he would still wake up screaming sometimes. it's not surprising that he also has trouble expressing his feelings. when his kids call, he would say a few words and hand the phone over to his wife. “i don’t know what to say to them,” he told my dad.

Posted by cellpharmer at June 28, 2007 10:57 PM