last meal

i’ve killed many times.

i remember my first time. i began by slamming his head against the counter, stunning him, and followed it with a crushing blow to the back of the head with a lead pipe. i cut across his neck with a pair of scissor, through the major arteries, and held him upside down to drain; i didn’t want blood clotting around the heart and the aorta. i needed the aorta.

there were three months when every monday i would randomly grab one, stick his head through the guillotine and lower the blade. i would stick my scissor through the eye sockets and cut away the top of the skull, and with a flick of the wrist, scoop the brain out. i could do 20 or so in one morning.

one day, i threw a corpse in the sink - that’s where i usually hold them until there's a batch for the incinerator - but it wouldn't stay dead and jumped around like it’s trying to get out. a little freaked out, it took me a minute to realize what had happened: he must have pulled his head out at the very last second and the blade caught the top of his forehead, sliced off his face, but left the rest of the head very much attached. i had no choice but to grab that hysterical mess and squeeze him through the guillotine again.

i tasted blood at lunch that day. of course, there was no blood in my food or my mouth. later, i told my boss i couldn’t do it anymore.

there was the one ali brought in; she found him half-frozen in the snow. i told her he was filthy and probably carried all kinds of shit. he was in pretty bad shape already, so i took a ice bucket and filled it with several large chunks of dry ice and put it in a kitchen sink with him. as ali cried, i turned on the faucet and watched the water poured into the bucket. within seconds a thick fog collected on the bottom of the sink. like a scene from a sci-fi flick, it quickly enveloped him. a few years later, i did the same for another one that was dying of cancer.

then there was a very old one last week. over 100 easy. he spent most of his day with a electric blanket 'cus he’s got next to no body fat and was cold all the time. i heard he stopped eating so i knew it was coming. i had always wanted to be the one to see him off. but, i couldn’t make it back in time.

Posted by cellpharmer at August 18, 2005 02:10 PM